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Changing Gears

by Scruffy
Hey Pando,” Eddie called to me loudly from across our table, around which were seated various denizens comprising our local native wits, who were trying to enjoy Toni’s powerful overcooked and over-perked copper-colored liquid that she playfully lists as “coffee” on the menu of The Scruffy Dog Cafe.

“Um, yes, uh, yeah, Eddie, whazzup?” I replied between sips.

“You know how you’re always going on about the abysmal quality of television commercials?”

“Um, yeah, and thanks for not calling them ‘adverts’ like our mates across the pond. What’s your point?”

Eddie replied, “I’ve been casting a critical eye toward those truly obnoxious car commercials you see these days. You know, how the ad agencies spool together about twenty 1-second clips of cars peeling out, spinning donuts, climbing hills at a 50° angle, like that.”

“Um hm,” I nodded absently. I was still considering the awful aftertaste of a couple of mass-produced American bottled abominations that are amusingly marketed as “beer” that I’d consumed the night before.

“Well,” continued Eddie excitedly, “I’ve pinned down something that’s pretty ridiculous if you look closely enough.”

“In those quick clips they often insert a few seconds of a driver grabbing the floor-mounted gear shift and he shifts gears.”

“Um hm. So Eddie, that’s generally how you get the cars to move from a sitting position to a forward or backward movement.”

“Yeah, Pando, yeah, I know. But here’s a car that supposedly going up Pike’s Peak and they show a shot of the driver shifting from “P” (park) into “R” (reverse). And there’s another one that shows the car taking hairpin turns through a forest and the gear-shifting clip shows him shifting from “D” (drive) into “P”.

“How ‘bout that,” I idly remarked, “That’s par for the course. They know that nobody ever watches that closely so they stick in these ‘gotcha!’ Easter eggs just for the enjoyment of the easily amused. Thanks for entertaining us during an otherwise dull lunch, Eddie.”

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